


broken pieces on the floor; (un)loveable

by vinndetta



Series: Aromantic Dan [1]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Aromantic, Asexuality Spectrum, Gen, I LOVE THESE TWO PLATONIC BABES, Internalized Arophobia, Oops, anyway, but idk if thats something i should even put, egoflap is like not even background technically, friend goals tbh, idk - Freeform, its just they're married in this fic so i put it in?, love em, some good old FRIENDSHIP for y'all, some shit i wrote because i'm procrastinating my essay, whatever i gu e s s, whatever i put it anyway sdklfjsdkjs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 01:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16566896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinndetta/pseuds/vinndetta
Summary: Danny Sexbang: sex master extraordinaire making sweet love to the entire world.And then, well, there's Dan Avidan.





	broken pieces on the floor; (un)loveable

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [DentistsScareMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DentistsScareMe/pseuds/DentistsScareMe) in the [GenAndAroPrompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/GenAndAroPrompts) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> any fandom.
> 
> One character feels like they are unlovable because they've never been interested in romance before. Fortunately, another shows up to tell them exactly what they need to hear.
> 
> -
> 
> title credits:  
> ashes  
> by celine dion  
> from deadpool 2 soundtrack

Dan's never understood romance. He's seen what it can do to people, and he knows what it is, but he's never had the luck to experience it for himself. Or maybe he's the lucky one, for not having to go through the heartbreak and sorrow that other people go through.

If he had felt like an outsider during his childhood due to his Jewish background, his high school years were worse, with classmates speaking about love as if it was their whole world. Dan always brushed off questions about crushes, maybe pretending to not want to share the information to his friends. Little did the kids know that the information didn't even exist in the first place.

He didn't want to feel like the odd one out. He was already the Jewish kid with the weird thumbs. He didn't want to give his peers any more reasons to antagonize him.

-

He always thought something was wrong with him. He knew he liked Kristen, a beautiful blonde girl in one of his classes, but once she approached him with the idea of a romantic date, Dan had scampered off quickly. Kristen was left puzzled as Dan ran back to his dorm to hide for the rest of the day.

Kristen was a beautiful and amazing friend, but Dan didn't like the idea of kissing someone and dating them. 

-

On some days, he wonders why he's broken. He's unable to love, and while the thought of someone loving him didn't exactly scare him off, he knew it would be extremely upsetting to be on the other side. He's never experienced love, but the idea of someone wanting to give him something so seemingly important while being unable to return it as well absolutely terrifies him.

He feels sorry for everyone who's ever been interested in him.

-

Then, Dan meets Arin Hanson.

-

Arin, that beautiful man, is married to his equally beautiful wife, Suzy. The two of them are perfect for each other.

He likes them, he knows that. But it's more of a _I'd support you through thick and thin_ kind of love.

Still, it's the most meaningful type of love that he's ever experienced.

-

"Dan, have you had a girlfriend in the past couple of years?" Arin asks Dan during a break between recording episodes.

"What?" Dan turns towards Arin on the Grump couch. He didn't expect this conversation to happen, but he thinks his friend must have brought this up for a reason. He smiles at his best friend, trying to mentally prepare for what was to come next.

"You know, you... never mention anything. You've mentioned exes, but you always say they were short relationships."

"Uh..." Dan's eyes shift around awkwardly. Arin notices that, shrugging as if to brush the whole thing off like it never even happened, like he had never brought it up in the first place.

"If you don't want to answer, that's okay. Was just wondering how my best friend's love life is." 

"Um... it's nonexistant."

"Oh?" Arin raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah. I like it this way, though."

Arin doesn't respond to that, seemingly thinking about something while absentmindedly looking at Dan. It doesn't make Dan uncomfortable, but he's a little concerned for his friend's well-being. Not knowing what to do, however, he just decides to wave his hand in front of Arin's face in order to bring him back to this world.

"Hello? Earth to Arin?" Dan says playfully.

"Do you know what aromantic is?" Arin spits out of nowhere, still looking right at Dan. However, it's more on purpose this time, which catches Dan off guard.

"Uhm..." Dan scrunches up his face. "... No...?"

Arin gets out his phone as soon as Dan responds negatively, focused on searching for something. He pulls up a page, giving the phone to Dan so he could read it.

"A...AVEN... What's th-"

"Never mind about it, just... please read it."

Dan shrugs in response, actually reading what the webpage said.

-

"An aromantic is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. Where romantic people have an emotional need to be with another person in a romantic relationship, aromantics are often satisfied with friendships and other non-romantic relationships."

-

Dan blinked. Arin looks at Dan, waiting for a reaction.

"That's..."

"Is that the word you've been looking for this entire time?"

Dan looked up into Arin's eyes, which was filled with emotions of empathy and care. He gulps, caught under his best friend's gaze.

"It's... _it's me_..."

And if Dan cries after that, Arin holds him in his arms, deciding to end the recording session for the day.

-

The next day, Dan shows up, hair messier than usual with restless eyes.

Suzy finds him first. Seeing the state he's in, she knows what she needs to do for Dan.

-

Three knocks on the door later, Arin opens his door to find his wife and his best friend.

"Suzy..? Dan...?"

Her only answer is to nudge Dan forward. She steps back, walking away slowly in order to let the two of them have their moment.

-

"Dan...? Baby, come on, tell me what's wrong."

Dan shakes his head and steps forward in order to get onto the couch. He pulls his legs up in order to rest on the couch, simply staring up at the ceiling of the Grump room.

Arin doesn't say anything, but sits at the other edge of the sofa, next to Dan's head. He looks at his friend curled up on the couch with a soft smile.

"Do you think I'm broken?" Dan's voice was barely a whisper, and if anything had been making noise in the room, Arin wouldn't have been able to hear Dan ask him a question as his voice cracked.

"Shh, no, no, of course not..." Arin replied quickly, hair going immediately to pet Dan's hair comfortingly. 

Dan sniffles. He doesn't want his best friend to worry, but he just can't help it. Dan gets closer to Arin, resting his head on his lap. He lets the words spill out, so fast that he doesn't even know if Arin understands him.

"It's just, you know, the aromantic thing. I'm broken, right? I can't feel a basic human emotion, that everyone feels, except for me, for some reason. I'm Danny motherfucking Sexbang, and I can't feel romantic love. I don't know how I feel about sex, but romantic things make me feel queasy. I'm unlovable, because I can't love. Thinking about kissing or going on romantic dates, that's so scary, I don't feel that way, I never want to do that. But so many people do, but I'm fucking afraid of that. I'm afraid because I don't feel that at all. I'm so broken, Arin, I'm sorry, I'm a broken man, I-"

Dan snaps out of his rant when he feels a tear on his face. He wasn't crying. He was close to it, but he knows that tear wasn't his. He looks directly up at Arin to find that his best friend is crying.

"Arin, I - I'm sorry! Please don't hate me. I'm sorry, don't cry, please, I-"

Arin wipes away his tears with one hand while using his other hand to caress Dan's face. Dan doesn't say anything, just calmly breathing as he takes in the way that this feels.

"Dan, there's nothing to be sorry about..." Arin whispers, letting his hand rest to the side of Dan's head.

"Arin...?"

"Dan... you... you are a wonderful man. You're perfect. How could you say that... you're broken? Love is just one thing. You're loveable, everyone loves you, the lovelies, our friends... " Arin trails off suddenly. 

Dan looks up at Arin, watching him spill his heart out to him. He can see his friend's red eyes and sincere expression, and he feels his heart sink.

"I love you, don't you see?"

Dan grasps Arin's hand.

"You're my best friend, and I love you, so, so, so much. You're loveable, because anyone in their right mind would love you. It doesn't have to be romantic love. You don't need to want to be in a relationship to feel love, to be whole, to not be broken."

Dan felt the prickling of tears threatening to appear.

"You're you, and that's all you need to do to be loved."

-

They don't get any recording done that day either. Instead, they spend some time together, playing an old Zelda game absentmindedly. They feel alright in each other's presence. Dan watches Arin play, his head on his best friend's shoulder as he feels the other's body warmth. There's no obligation, no pretending to be someone else. They're just there, exising together. Dan no longer has to pretend.

-

Dan knows everything's going to be alright, because his best friend, Arin, loves him without wanting anything else from him. He loves him just the way he is.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! thanks for reading :))) please please kudos/comment if you liked it! i'd appreciate feedback too, since i don't know if i wrote an aromantic character properly. ^^;;
> 
> i'm @vinndetta on tumblr! hmu if you wanna talk about anything! love you guys <3


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